'I was having this awful nightmare that I was 32. And then I woke up and I was 23. So relieved. And then I woke up for real, and I was 32.' - Celine, Before Sunset

Monday, August 06, 2007

Getting out the Funk

Feeling really, really depressed after a big loss?
Work really bogging you down?
Want to release some of that negative energy but drinking is not really your thing?
Here is a short list of alternative activities to get you back to happyville!

1) Junk Food Binging

Ahhh... say hello to my best friends! Sour Cream & Cheddar Ruffles and Sour Cream & Onion Pringles! Get those gastric juices to work and fall prey to the quick satisfaction of potato chips and artificial flavoring. A can of cherry cola or cream soda will be a perfect compliment!

2) Flinging & Breaking

Every formulaic dramatic movie scene has this and it is indeed very therapeutic. Get those old jugs and jars out of the top shelf and start pitching them out an abandoned lot! Add some matching profanity directed towards the object of stress for full effect!

3) Self-Mutilation

Sometimes you really want to hurt somebody but you can't because it's... well, not cool. So, why don't hurt yourself instead! Pounding ones head on a wall or self-inflicting flesh wounds would usuqlly do the trick. The pain and the bleeding might be a downer at first but the street cred you'll get for the bruising and stitches will surely make up for it!

4) Get on the Rebound

Random hookups are creepy and uhm.... dangerous. Be on the safe side. Look around your office or campus and offer yourself up for charity to the next geeky kid you see! Think of it as giving back to society. Who knows? You might end up inspiring the next Steve Jobs or Condoleeza Rice!

5) Blog about it

Hell.. it works for me!